Navigating the Holidays After the Loss of a Loved One

by Juliana Fabio, LCSW

The holidays can be a tender time. What once brought warmth and connection can suddenly feel heavy with absence. The lights, the music, the traditions—each can stir memories that remind us of who is missing.

If you’ve lost someone you love, this season can feel complicated. You might find yourself torn between wanting to participate in the rituals you’ve always loved and needing quiet space to simply breathe. Both are okay. There is no one “right” way to grieve, especially during the holidays.

As a bereavement counselor and therapist, I’ve walked alongside many individuals and families during this season. Here are some gentle ways to navigate the weeks ahead with compassion for yourself and those around you.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel

Grief doesn’t take time off for the holidays. You may feel sadness, anger, joy, guilt, or even moments of laughter—and all of it is normal. The holidays can magnify the contrast between the world’s cheerfulness and your inner reality.

You don’t have to force yourself to be “festive.” You can honor your emotions exactly as they arise. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is to name what’s true: “This year feels different. I miss them.”

Honesty creates space for gentleness.

2. Redefine Traditions (or Skip Them Altogether)

Traditions can be comforting—but they can also be painful reminders of what’s changed. It’s okay to modify them or create new ones that reflect where you are now.

You might light a candle in your loved one’s memory, cook their favorite meal, or share a story about them before dinner. Or you might choose to simplify, travel somewhere new, or spend the day quietly.

Grief changes the landscape of our lives; traditions can evolve too.

3. Listen to Your Body

Our bodies often carry grief before our minds can make sense of it. During the holidays, when schedules fill and emotions run high, it’s easy to override what we feel physically.

Notice when your shoulders tense, your breath shortens, or your energy dips. These are invitations to pause—to stretch, to breathe, to step outside for fresh air. Grounding through the body helps calm the nervous system and remind us that it’s safe to rest.

Even a few minutes of mindful movement or stillness can help you return to center.

4. Let Connection Be Your Anchor

Grief can make us want to retreat, and sometimes solitude is healing. But connection—even gentle, low-pressure connection—can offer steady ground.

Reach out to a friend who understands, join a support group, or attend a remembrance event. Often, the simple act of being witnessed helps us feel less alone.

If you’re supporting someone who’s grieving, remember that presence matters more than perfection. A simple “I’m thinking of you” can mean the world.

5. Remember: Love Doesn’t End

The pain you feel is a reflection of love that hasn’t gone anywhere—it’s just taken on a new form. Finding ways to carry that love forward can be deeply healing.

You might volunteer in your loved one’s honor, create a small ritual of remembrance, or keep a journal of moments that make you think of them. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning how to live with love and loss side by side.

A Closing Thought

The holidays will never look quite the same after loss, and that’s okay. Grief reshapes us—it asks us to slow down, to tend to our hearts, to find meaning in quieter ways.

If this season feels heavy, be gentle with yourself. Grief is not a problem to solve; it’s a story to be honored. Allow yourself space to rest, remember, and be. Healing happens not in perfection, but in presence.

About the AuthorJuliana Fabio, LCSW, is a bereavement counselor and psychotherapist specializing in grief, life transitions, and women’s mental health. She blends talk therapy with somatic and movement-based practices to help clients reconnect with themselves and find meaning after loss.