Loneliness in Midlife: Why It’s Rising—and How We Can Gently Reconnect

By Juliana Mott Fabio, LCSW

Recently, I read an article that’s stayed with me: adults between the ages of 45 and 55 are more lonely than ever before. Not because they lack relationships, but because the demands of this particular life stage are heavier and more complex than we often acknowledge.

Many of us in this age range are juggling long work hours, launching children into adulthood, caring for aging parents, managing financial pressure, and navigating major emotional transitions—all while trying to maintain a sense of self. Add the long shadow of the pandemic, plus the isolating nature of social media, and it makes sense that so many people are quietly carrying a profound sense of loneliness.

And I’ll be honest: I feel it too.

People often assume loneliness comes from not having enough friends. But more often, it comes from not having enough margin in our lives to nurture the friendships we already have. When someone asks to meet up, I often find myself saying something like, “Sure—how does Monday through Friday between 6 and 7 AM work?” And if that doesn’t work, maybe once every other week between 6 and 7 PM on a Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday.

It’s not that I don’t value connection. It’s that midlife sometimes feels like a carefully balanced house of cards, where even one more commitment threatens to topple the whole structure.

But loneliness isn’t something we can ignore. As a therapist, I know that connection—real, meaningful connection—is crucial for emotional well-being, especially during this stage of life. And the answers aren’t necessarily big or dramatic. They are often small, intentional, sustainable shifts.

Here are a few practices that have helped me, and that I often encourage clients to consider:

1. Connect Where You Already Are

My 6 AM workout class may not be the easiest time of day to socialize, but it’s one of the few consistent pockets of time I have. So I make it a point to talk with the people there—not forcing anything, just saying hello, checking in, sharing a laugh. Over time, these small interactions create a sense of belonging.

Connection doesn’t always require carving new time out of your schedule. Often, it begins by bringing warmth into the spaces you already inhabit.

2. Say Yes When You Can, Even If It’s Small

Midlife schedules rarely allow for long, lingering dinners or spontaneous weekend trips. But sometimes we can say yes to a short walk, a quick coffee, or a voice memo conversation during a commute. These small moments matter more than we realize.

Connection doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful.

3. Reach Out to One Person Each Week

I try to reach out to at least one person I haven’t talked to in a while—sometimes through a quick text, sometimes by sending a photo or a simple, “Thinking of you.” It’s not perfect, but it keeps the threads of connection alive.

And importantly, it reminds me that friendship isn’t about frequency—it’s about intention.

4. Join Something, Even If You’re Tired

Local events, workshops, classes, or groups can provide gentle, low-pressure connection. It takes effort—especially at the end of a long day—but it often gives more energy than it takes.

As a somatic therapist, I know that loneliness doesn’t just live in our minds. It shows up in our bodies—in tension, fatigue, restlessness, and feelings of disconnection. Being with others, even briefly, helps regulate the nervous system and brings us back into a sense of shared humanity.

5. Remember: It’s a Season, Not a Failure

Midlife connection looks different than it did in our twenties. It’s patchwork, layered, imperfect, and often squeezed between responsibilities. That doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong. It means we are human.

Many of the people I work with feel the same way—rushed, stretched, grateful, overwhelmed, hopeful, lonely, and deeply committed to the people they love. You are not alone in feeling alone.

What About You?

This is what I can do for now: show up where I can, connect in small ways, reach out to people I care about, and give myself grace for the rest. It’s not perfect, but it’s real—and that matters more than perfection.

I would genuinely love to hear how others are navigating this season.

What helps you feel connected right now?

What small practices keep loneliness from settling too deeply?

We learn from each other.And we heal—slowly, gently—through connection.