Grief Isn’t Linear: What Healing Can Look Like

by Juliana Fabio, LCSW

If you’ve ever grieved, you know it doesn’t move in straight lines. There’s no tidy progression from sadness to acceptance, no single moment where everything suddenly feels “better.” Grief is more like the ocean—calm one day, crashing the next. It comes in waves, often when we least expect it.

As a bereavement counselor and therapist, I’ve sat with countless individuals and families navigating profound loss. The one truth I return to, again and again, is this: grief isn’t something we get over—it’s something we learn to live with.

1. The Myth of Moving On

We live in a culture that loves milestones and timelines. We’re taught to measure our healing by how quickly we “bounce back.” But grief doesn’t work that way. You may find yourself feeling peaceful one morning, only to be hit with a wave of sadness that afternoon. This doesn’t mean you’re “going backward.” It simply means you’re human.

Grief asks us to soften our expectations—to allow space for what’s here, without judgment or comparison. Healing is not about erasing pain but about expanding our capacity to hold it.

2. Healing as Integration

When someone we love dies, our relationship with them changes—it doesn’t end. Healing often means learning how to stay connected in new ways: through memory, ritual, shared values, or quiet moments of reflection.

In my work, I often invite clients to notice what still lives within them: the gestures, phrases, or qualities that remind them of their person. This awareness becomes a bridge between loss and life, between past and present.

Grief softens over time, not because we forget, but because love finds a way to coexist with absence.

3. The Body Remembers

Grief doesn’t live only in our minds—it’s stored in our bodies. Tight shoulders, a heavy chest, shallow breathing—these sensations often tell the story our words can’t. That’s why somatic awareness is such an important part of healing.

Gentle movement, breathwork, or simply noticing how your body feels in the moment can create space for release and grounding. The body is wise—it knows how to guide us back toward balance if we slow down enough to listen.

4. There’s No Right Way

Your grief is as unique as your fingerprint. Some people cry easily; others feel numb for months. Some find solace in nature, others in community, others in solitude. There’s no formula for healing—only curiosity, compassion, and patience.

I often remind my clients: you are not doing grief wrong. There’s no timeline, no finish line, no checklist. The measure of healing isn’t how little you feel—it’s how fully you allow yourself to feel and still live.

5. A Gentle Reminder

Healing from loss isn’t about leaving your loved one behind. It’s about finding your footing again in a world that looks different now. It’s about discovering new ways to love, to connect, to create meaning—even when your heart still aches.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

If you’re grieving…

Take your time. Let your grief be what it is—messy, unpredictable, sacred. Some days you’ll feel stronger, others you’ll feel undone. Both are part of the journey.

And remember: you don’t have to walk through it alone. Whether through counseling, support groups, or the simple act of being witnessed, healing happens in connection.

About the AuthorJuliana Fabio, LCSW, is a bereavement counselor and psychotherapist specializing in grief, life transitions, and women’s mental health. Her integrative approach blends talk therapy with somatic awareness and movement practices to help clients reconnect to their bodies and find meaning after loss.