Getting Started: How to Find the Motivation for the Hard Things

By Juliana Mott Fabio, LCSW

We all have moments when the first step feels like the hardest one — going for a run, beginning a challenging project, having a difficult conversation, or even simply getting out the door. Motivation is often misunderstood as something we “wait for,” but in reality, motivation grows once we begin. As a therapist and somatic practitioner, I see how emotional blocks, physical tension, and self-doubt can make that initial step feel bigger than it is. The good news is that there are gentle, realistic ways to help your mind and body prepare for movement, action, and change.

Here are a few supportive practices to help you get started when motivation feels far away.

1. Start with the Smallest Possible Step

When something feels overwhelming, the brain perceives it as a threat. This triggers a stress response, making avoidance feel like the safest option. Breaking the task into the smallest, most doable step can calm the nervous system enough to begin.

Instead of “Go for a run,” try:

• Put on your running shoes

• Step outside

• Walk for 3 minutes

Often, once you begin, momentum naturally follows. Small steps build trust with yourself — and trust is a powerful motivator.

2. Regulate Your Body Before You Try to Act

Motivation isn’t just mental; it’s physiological. If your body is tense, anxious, or depleted, even simple tasks can feel impossible. A few somatic shifts can help your body move out of resistance and into readiness:

• Place a hand on your chest and take three slow breaths

• Inhale for four counts, exhale for six

• Gently roll your shoulders or stretch your spine

• Ground both feet on the floor and notice the support beneath you

These practices signal safety to your nervous system, clearing space for action.

3. Name What Feels Hard Right Now

Many people think they lack discipline when the real issue is emotional weight — fear, perfectionism, grief, or overwhelm. Naming it softens it.

Try saying to yourself:

• “I’m feeling anxious about starting.”

• “This conversation scares me.”

• “This project feels too big right now.”

Naming the feeling doesn’t make it worse; it makes it manageable. It allows compassion to enter the room.

4. Set a Gentle Time Limit

Sometimes we avoid starting because we imagine we have to finish everything at once. Instead, tell yourself you only have to begin.

Try:

• “I’ll work on this project for 10 minutes.”

• “I’ll walk for five minutes.”

• “I’ll make the first call and then reassess.”

Short bursts reduce pressure and often create natural momentum.

5. Connect to Your “Why” — Not Your Shoulds

“Shoulds” create resistance.Your “why” creates meaning.

Before you begin, ask yourself:

• Why do I want to move my body?

• Why do I want to complete this project?

• Why does this conversation matter?

Your “why” doesn’t need to be big or profound. It just needs to be true.

Examples:

• “I know I’ll feel clearer after I move.”

• “I want to show up for myself.”

• “This conversation could bring peace or closure.”

Meaning fuels motivation.

6. Reduce the Emotional Temperature

If your nervous system is activated, it’s nearly impossible to find motivation. Try lowering the emotional intensity:

• Sip something warm

• Step outside for fresh air

• Light a candle

• Play calming music

• Write down the swirling thoughts in your head

These small acts help the body soften so your mind can think clearly.

7. Celebrate the Beginning — Not the Outcome

Every time you take a first step, you reinforce a powerful message:I can do hard things.

Celebrate putting your shoes on.Celebrate opening the document.Celebrate reaching out to someone.Celebrate breathing through discomfort.

Motivation grows when we acknowledge our efforts, not just our results.

A Final Reminder

Getting started doesn’t mean you have to feel inspired, energized, or fearless. Most of the time, motivation is born out of gentle beginnings. When you give yourself compassion, regulate your body, and take one honest step at a time, you create space for momentum to build naturally.

You are capable of starting.You are allowed to start small.And you don’t have to do it perfectly — you just have to begin.